I've been pretty whatever lately--okay, that's not true, because the Guns N' Roses European tour started yesterday, thus I am actually quite excited for what that will entail. Plus Axl looks really happy and teeny tiny and his voice is awesome, so that's always good. No, I am never going to get over this band and this man. It's just something I'm cursed with forever.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I've had two zen-like moments the past couple of days that I wanted to share for posterity. The first one was last night. Josh and I were watching this documentary on the White family of West Virgina (a bunch of crazy mofos) and we were in bed and Iris and Lily were draped across us and I could hear the rain pouring outside and it made me happy. Josh and I have been really awesome lately. Like, scarily so. So that was a lovely moment with our dog children and I felt good about my life for a while.

And then this morning, I went to my dad's pretty early because he had a dude over there detailing his car and he wanted me to get mine detailed so yeah I went. And my dad went into his office and I sat in the back yard probably for two hours waiting for this dude to finish with my car. But it was overcast and 65 degrees and both my dad's dogs, my favorite boys on the planet Alph and Joey, kept coming outside to hang out with me and give me snuggles. And I was reading a John Grisham book on my Kindle. And it was just kind of zen-like 'cause I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything but exist with my dogs and read a book. I'm really not that hard to please, apparently. But, I mean, just look at these boys. How can you be in a bad mood when these dudes are in your presence?



But then I had to go to Discount Tire and pay $200 for a tire to replace my flat one and then I had to go to work for 5 hours, so that was kind of a buzzkill.

Oh! Season finales. Big Bang Theory was whatever. It had its moments. It could have been so much worse. CSI was intense...it had a lot of old school elements that I enjoyed--Nick getting so angry about the spirit of Warrick, the hockey rink, neoprene, etc. I hope Ecklie isn't a casualty--he's a mean old bastard but he's Ecklie! And he gets to date Hodges' mom. And Morgan was forgiving him! Also Vampire Diaries...thank goodness it finally aired because I've wanted to yell "ELENA IS GOING TO BE A VAMPIRE" for like two months now. I loved the episode. I thought it was brilliant. Yes, Elena picking Stefan sucked, but I have a feeling Vampire!Elena will have different thoughts entirely.

Sooo that's it, really. Go in peace.

Title: Pandora's Box - chapter nine
Author: Lizwontcry
Spoilers: Current season.
Rating/Warnings: It's all mature from here.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
Summary: After he asks her for advice on how to take his relationship with Amy to the next level, Sheldon and Penny are drawn to each other. How far will they take their attraction, and what will it cost them?

( No one was safe from her myriad of lies. )

Title: Pandora's Box - chapter eight
Author: Lizwontcry
Spoilers: Current season.
Rating/Warnings: It's all mature from here.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
Summary: After he asks her for advice on how to take his relationship with Amy to the next level, Sheldon and Penny are drawn to each other. How far will they take their attraction, and what will it cost them?

( Despite all the reasons not to, sometimes Sheldon just wanted to close his eyes and think about Penny. )

Hello, friends. How's it hangin'? It's Thursday. That's good news, right?

I suppose I don't have a lot of interesting words to say right now, but here are a few things going on in that which is my life.

- I know I've said this about a hundred times but I'm convinced that as I get more unattractive every single day, Josh gets hotter every single day. Like every time I look at him he gets more attractive. I don't know how that's mathematically possible but it's true. Argh.

- Change. I don't like change. In fact, I dislike it. Like, my mom just sold her house in Utah and while it was tiny and didn't have a dishwasher or a shower and you have to turn off the light if you want to dry your hair, but it had charm. It was in my stepdad's family for 100 years. They sold it so they could afford to finish the new house they're building but I'm going to miss it. Cryface.

And at work, we were kind of ordered to make the place look tidy so we had to take down all our posters (bye bye, evil Hannah Montana) and the mullet wall and everything else and now it's all blank and white and stark and looks like an institution. I don't like it. It's like we have no identity now. Of course we could keep all our stuff in our cubicles and I can continue to gaze upon Axl's essence any time I'd like, but still. The blankness is so depressing.

- I haven't been working out because I've been doing overtime. Next Friday, I will have a lot of money and I've been thinking on how to spend it. Money is fun. Oh, and I've spent like half a paycheck on iTunes lately. I deleted all my playlists to make new ones and I noticed that I needed a lot more music so yeah. I bought some Heart and Stone Temple Pilots and all kinds of exciting crap like that.

- It looks like the shit is hitting the fan on the rest of episodes of Big Bang Theory this season. I'm gonna have to either stop watching or learn to deal with whatever the hell they're doing 'cause it's not looking good for Sheldon and Penny any time soon. And Sheldon/Amy and Penny/Leonard make me feel fangirl vomity. You know what I'm talking about. At least Sara and Grissom are married and I don't have to deal with that drama roller coaster anymore. It's just...they have the greatest chemistry and they're so adorable and they should be together and they're not and probably not ever going to and it just makes me kind of angry and that's not normal so I'll stop talking about it now.

- Speaking of which, I am so emotionally involved in the fanfic I'm writing and I wish I could feel as passionate about writing a novel as I am about that. I don't know why I find it so hard to create my own characters. I guess if I sat down one day and just made myself do it, it would be a lot easier than just avoiding it altogether. But for now, Sheldon and Penny's illicit affair is running through my mind constantly and that's fun but annoying.

- Vampire Diaries...so many feels.

- There are probably other things to say and feel but whatevs. This is my life right now and I guess we just have to deal with that. I know I sound like a teenage girl and that annoys me. I need more, but I'm not pursuing more and that's a problem. Sighface.

That's all I can think of at the moment...now here's a rant I wrote on Tumblr about Axl and this Hall of Fame bullshit. I'm over it.

( And here's why... )

Title: Pandora's Box - chapters five and six
Author: Lizwontcry
Spoilers: All aired episodes.
Rating/Warnings: Mature. Bow chicka bow bow.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
Summary: After he asks her for advice on how to take his relationship with Amy to the next level, Sheldon and Penny are drawn to each other. How far will they take their attraction, and what will it cost them?

Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four

(  She was classically beautiful; the kind of woman that men wanted to paint and write poetry and novels about. )

( Chapter six - This is what happens when you open the box. )

I kinda liked it better when nobody was paying attention to Axl and the 25 year old lady singers he's doing whatever with and he didn't release 300 page long statements that even my co-workers who normally couldn't care less are asking me about today. I respect and admire him for his decisions but all the hatred and the crap he's getting for them are hurting my soul. Everywhere I go on the interwebs today, there's someone else saying the most horrible, negative crap about him. And I hate it and I feel such empathy for him because he's just trying to make the band he started 25 years ago relevant without the original members and it's an impossible dream and people just don't get it. Or him. And I hate it. And I could spend all day defending him but I should probably work and eat this garlic bagel instead.

That awesome moment then one of your childhood heroes replies to you on twitter...

In other news, thank you for all your comments on the last entry. It was a bad day. I've been doing okay since then although I haven't had much time to work out this week. Josh and I have been getting along. My job is sucking but that's only because we're working on all these horrible movies for Netflix. I worked on a movie today that made me develop a case of tourette's. FUCK THIS MOVIE. Basically. I started looking at mental health benefits on my health insurance's website, but it was pretty much in a foreign language. I'm just going to have to call them and ask who I can see and how many times and what I need to do to make that happen. I also need to call my tax guy, since it's April and I can no longer procrastinate. Bad me.

Today was an insane weather day. I guess most of you figured that out because it was all over the news. 12 tornadoes in the DFW area today. At work we were all freaking out, calling our loved ones, staring at the blackness in the sky. We get tornadoes here during this time of year, we're used to it, but there were just so many of them and it was scary for a while. They're gone now, but they caused a shitton of destruction and it made me want my mommy. I have lots of dreams about tornadoes and I feel like it will eventually be my destiny to be taken away in one. That's a happy thought, right?

So last night on facebook, one of my high school friends posted a link about a husband and wife who starved their 10 year old kid to death. The wife was my friend in high school. We were in orchestra together. We're facebook friends! I hid her posts because they were weird and annoying. So it's not like we've had any kind of real interactions in the last 15 years, but still, I knew the girl. She played viola with me. And this really freaked me out the entirety of last night. I even had trouble sleeping. I mean, how do you do that to a kid, really? I feel like she wanted to feed him but her husband was abusive and wouldn't let her do it. But the whole time, I keep thinking to myself...she played viola! I feel like she has betrayed the viola player as a human being. I don't know, it makes sense in my head. There's just so few people who play viola and when one of them does something so shitty, it's a blow to violists everywhere. Or whatever.

iTunes just started playing Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. I heard the Smashing Pumpkins version the other day. It brought me back to junior high when I was obsessed with it, and it kinda crushed my 32 year old soul. I hope someday I won't be so prone to sadface over nostalgia.

I'm mostly over my Big Bang Theory infatuation, but I'm still writing a WIP that is kind of taking over my thought process. It makes me happy.

I love my house.

Oh! The Hunger Games. I started reading the book last week and got a bit emotionally attached to it. I finished it on Saturday morning and saw the movie on Saturday afternoon. Theater was totally full, of course. And they clapped when good things happened and that was annoying.

( I have some thoughts. )

Sooo yeah. That is my word vomit for today. Thank you for listening.

I swear I'll post something other than fanfic someday. Maybe.

Title: Of Plants and Pickles
Fandom/Pairing: CSI/GSR
Rating: Teen
Summary: Grissom's gift to Sara reminds her that it's been a long journey for
the two of them, but it's far from being over.
Word count: 3,365
Disclaimer: I don't want to own it until Grissom comes back.
Spoilers: Everything up to 12x18.

( Both of them had spent too long chasing each other and now it was time to be caught. )

Title: Pandora's Box - chapter three
Author: Lizwontcry
Spoilers: Through 5x19
Rating/Warnings: PG
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
Summary: Sheldon turns to Penny for advice on how to take his relationship with Amy to the next level but they're both unprepared for the unexpected lesson...and feelings that go along with it.

Chapter one
Chapter two

( It was kind of funny, really. Penny never thought hot dogs and spaghetti would taste good together. )

Title: The Phallus Inquisition
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: If the title didn't give it away...it's mature.
Summary: It's been a hot summer, and Penny makes it hotter when she decides to solve the mystery of Sheldon's pants. Smutty fluff.
Spoilers: All episodes that have currently aired in the US.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own these characters.

( She supposed it was inevitable, really.... )

Title: Pandora's Box - chapter two
Author: Lizwontcry
Spoilers: Through 5x19
Rating/Warnings: PG
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
Summary: Sheldon turns to Penny for advice on how to take his relationship with Amy to the next level but they're both unprepared for the unexpected lesson...and feelings that go along with it.

Chapter one

( But sometimes she had to take a second look because he was selling it and she was buying it. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter twelve
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: This chapter is MATURE 'cause of sexy times.
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( Every move he made was because he knew Penny wanted it that way. )

That is indeed a picture of Axl Rose and Jared Leto. I probably don't need to tell you what kind of reaction this caused from me. Jordan Catalano. And Axl. Together. And Axl doesn't look bad. He's lost tons of weight and holy balls his arms and tattoos. And Jared Leto! I'm surprised these two were in a room together and the whole universe didn't explode from all the awesomeness.

That's all I've really got tonight...I do not wish to describe the depths of the pity party I am currently throwing for myself. It's not pretty. I hope someday I'll look back on this time of my life and think to myself, thank god that's all behind me. And sometimes I worry that that's not going to happen. But yeah...look at that picture of Jared Leto and Axl Rose. At least that exists, right?

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Eleven
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( She wanted nothing more than to sit in his lap and tell him everything was going to to be okay. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Ten
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( It wasn't enough. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Nine
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( That was why he was the one. That's why she fell so hard for him. )

Hey, dudes. Sorry for the fanfic spam. You know how it is.

A list of things:
a. My life is so fucking boring that sometimes I just want to jump off a cliff to make it more interesting. I know this is basically of my own doing and I can change it if I really want to. But lately I just love my house so much. I want to go home and sit on my awesome sofa and watch 15 episodes of whatever TV show I'm obsessed with now. When I'm 80 years old, I'm sure I'll look back on these days and be proud of how much I accomplished. I know every day can't be the best day ever, every weekend can't be a GNR concert in Vegas, but...holy balls, I'm bored.

b. At least I can take comfort in the fact that my boyfriend is like basically the sexiest man on the planet. He gets sexier as he gets older. Like, every time I see him he gets hotter. How is that even fair?

c. Axl has started tweeting again! I know that's like whatever, but seriously, Axl's tweets are my favorite things ever. I think it's exciting that we live in a world where Axl could tweet at any moment.

d. Speaking of twitter, I got a reply (actually three of 'em) from Tim Booth, singer for James. As a fan of James for like the last 20 years of my life, that made me pretty happy.

e. TMI: I think I have some kind of IBS? I don't know what it is, but after I have a particularly bad day of eating the most unhealthiest shit on the planet, my stomach makes me pay for it the next morning. I was late for work today and everything because of this. I guess in my old age, I just can't eat whatever I want without consequences anymore. Sadface.

f. In obligatory TBBT news, it really sucks to ship a couple that's not canon. Now I know how Catherine/Grissom people felt. And I never wanted to know that. Also...on fanfiction.net, my fanfic has gotten more reviews than anything else I've ever posted. And I have 60 stories posted there! I know in the real world that is a ridiculous thing to brag about, but I'm proud of it. It's my first attempt at writing in that fandom, even. So whatever, it makes me happy and I don't care.

g. Still doing so much Married With Children at work. So much. Every day. Also Jerseylicious. Does anyone else watch this? Let's talk about it.

That's about it. Sorry for sucking. Have a nice week.

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Eight
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( The day she moved into the apartment and met the nice boys across the hall, she knew her life had changed forever. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Seven
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( Sometimes it felt like she was trapped in an episode of My So-Called Life. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Six
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( They were ruining everything. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Five
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: Mature for sexy times.
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( But it wasn't exactly the romance of the century, at least not yet. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Four
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: Mature for sexy times.
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( Silently, she did as he asked, watching him closely, wanting to know what this was doing to him. )

So yeah, Josh drives me crazy and we have the most ridiculous arguments that make me want to kick unicorns in the testicles, but he got me irises and lilies for Valentine's Day and it was the sweetest ever because his doggies are Iris and Lily. That made me so very happy. And then when I got to his house tonight we ate Chinese food and watched 10 episodes of season five Big Bang Theory. So yay.

Happy V-Day to y'all. I hope it was pleasant/didn't make you want to hurt unicorns.

Random. I feel like I'm losing a little bit of weight. I haven't been working out. All I've been doing is eating less. Like, with less frequency. I'd rather eat less food than eat healthy things, isn't that sad? But I do feel better. And I'm having my lady times and it hasn't completely sucked, except for a few days there where my cramps were so bad I wanted to take my uterus out of my body and send it to Mars.

We're doing a lot...a lot of Married with Children at work. I like it. Even though Al Bundy's life in general is so very depressing. I like to think he got rid of his family and replaced them with the ones from Modern Family and now he's happy. Oh! And I got a raise. It's just the annual raise but it's a little better than the past couple of years.

More random: I seem to have managed to completely kick my Farmville addiction in the face. I know that seems like a ridiculous thing to say, but seriously. Last year it got so completely out of hand. I spent so much real life money on it and everything. I had no idea how I'd ever rid myself of this addiction. And then the GNR concerts happened and I forgot about it for a while and then I just never got back into it and now I'm 99% done. This is such a relief. It makes me happy that this idiot game no longer has control over my life, is all I'm saying.

In other news, you know that feeling when you've written over 20,000 words/36 pages of a fanfic and you keep having ideas for it, yet you haven't written a single word of your own novel that you've had in your head since, like, 2007? It's kind of a problem. But this Sheldon/Penny thing is kind of holding me hostage right now and there's nothing I can do about it. They inspire me more than Elena/Damon, even. Not more than Grissom and Sara, let's not be silly.

I'm not going to go into all the reasons why I am completely in love with the Big Bang Theory right now because it would get dorky. But let's just say: I think I love Jim Parsons. Like, a lot. He's so tall. And so Texan. And stuff. And? While I am so ridiculously obsessed with Sheldon/Penny right now, I can respect the Shamy. But I don't really like it. It kind of kills me because I fucking love Mayim Bialik. I have since I was 8 years old. I can't help it...she was in Beaches! And then she was Blossom! And now she is effing with my Sheldon/Penny and kissing Sheldon and cuddling him and getting him to say sorry and it's making me nutso but if it has to be anyone, I guess it's good that it's Mayim. 'Cause I love her. Plus she has a Ph.D in Neuroscience!

I feel better now that I got that out of my head. This is always the fun part of fandom...getting so wrapped up in it that real life just kind of hangs out in the background. And when I say "fun", I mean, "Help me, I've gone to the dark side!"

But hey...at least I'm not talk about Axl as much, right? Speaking of which, he's tweeted twice this week! And he is hot and I love him and will always love him. Speaking of which, RIP Whitney. She was my childhood.

Um...this post is pointless. Have a nice evening.

I do plan to post something other than fanfic eventually...but for now...yeah.

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Three
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: This chapter is teen. Past and future chapters are mature.
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

Chapter one
Chapter two

( But she'd wait for him, at least for a while. He was worth it. )

Title: The Reverse Crush Conundrum - Chapter Two
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: Sheldon & Penny
Author: Lizwontcry
Rating: Mature. So very mature. Sexy times a'plenty.
Summary: Everyone was so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny that her all-consuming crush on Sheldon goes unnoticed. When Sheldon finds out about her feelings, they go on an emotional and physical journey neither of them saw coming.
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.

( This one had the promise of something that neither of them could identify yet... )